Integrity is a value, not a competition. Integrity is allowed to be practiced differently without it losing its significance and importance.
How you live into your integrity is a deeply personal choice and one that is informed by your lived experience and the other values you view as meaningful.
I work with clients on both sides of faith transitions. Clients that have left the faith of their family culture often feel misjudged, and the clients that remain close to the faith they love can simultaneously feel left behind and misjudged.
Often, there can be a feeling that one person's choice in leaving or remaining in a faith tradition demonstrates MORE integrity. Yet, what I know to be true is that there is no such thing as a "lesser integrity." Instead, the core value of integrity is being expressed differently.
It is a natural tendency to want to think we're doing something the right way, that we're living in the our values the way we should - and what if that was accurate? What if we ARE living into our values and integrity the way we want to AND that it's okay for that to look incredibly different for our best friend or family member?
When we begin to honor that integrity is allowed to look vastly different in our lives and in the lives of others, we not only practice greater emotional maturity, but we are less triggered when people live into their integrity differently when it comes to their choices with faith, religious and spiritual practices.
When we give space for integrity to be both VALID and HONORED in different ways we can move from defensiveness and judgement towards love, acceptance and support.
Sara Hughes-Zabawa, LCSW
Sara works from a holistic approach, focusing on issues such as depression, anxiety, grief, chronic pain, disordered eating, faith transitions, stress management and serving the LGBTQ+ community. She offers coaching/consultation and therapy services to individuals, couples and families.