Being Certain about Uncertainty - Part 2
Continuing from last week's post:
Now for the tips to get you in touch with mindfulness:
1. Take a real inventory of your values.
Learn about who you are. You are an amazing individual with many unique attributes that are yours and yours alone—your opinions, thoughts, beliefs, views, experiences, likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, interests that you might not even know you have...all are waiting to be known and unfold into life-giving purpose.
2. Become aware of how you are spending the time in your head.
Observe yourself from a different viewpoint. Are you spending a lot of time worrying about what will happen in the future? Do you have a lot of regrets about things that have happened in the past or spend a lot of time wishing it had gone differently? Do you find yourself stuck in certain emotional states like anger or sadness that are coloring your days a certain way? Just knowing or being aware of how you are spending the time in your head is the first step to mental liberation—even if you aren’t too fond of what is actually going on. 3. What are you doing or not doing that is getting in the way of you reaching your goals/dreams/values led life?
Maybe you are keeping yourself so incredibly busy that the “real” you doesn’t get a chance to come forward and experience life because you are so caught up in the “doing” of it all. Maybe you have a lot of great intentions but you actually never really work on them...why? Notice this first...then do something about it. Maybe you need to intentionally remove things from your plate so you have the time to be more present or intentional about your actions. Maybe you need to lessen the expectations on that to-do list so that you can begin moving toward them rather than avoiding them because the list is so overwhelming. 4. Slow down.
When uncertainty hits, a lot of times we hit the accelerator in our lives...thinking that if we can somehow fast forward through uncomfortable places we will get back to feeling certain sooner. The exact opposite is true; when we fast forward through difficult places, what we are really doing is avoiding them. So, when you are feeling really uncertain, take 5. Give yourself the gift of a moment, or a few moments if you need it. Better yet, do some self-care. The hope is to emerge with a little more clarity.
Think of being uncertain as the fabric of our lives...we get to weave into that fabric whatever it is that we feel brings meaning into our lives. This is what can provide us with certainty and knowing...because knowing ourselves so deeply that we come to be aware of and understand what causes us to feel secure, calm, and comforted, however fleeting and changing that safety or comfort may be, is the most accurate resource we can rely on. Life changes. We change...and we get to be the captain’s of our ships.
Emily Celis, LMFT specializes in adult individual mental health services for anxiety, depression and mood disorders, religious transitions, LGBT+ related issues, body image, substance abuse, self-esteem, and gender specific issues. She offers in-person and online services for adults and is also trained to work with couples, families, children and adolescents.