Reflective Listening: The Communication Tool You’ve Been Looking For

One of my favorite therapeutic tools is to teach couples reflective listening. When used well, it has the power to break through an argument that has reached an impasse; uncover deep vulnerable feelings; and break the cycle of those same arguments you have all the time. Reflective listening is slow, methodical. It is the antithesis of a heated, fast-moving argument. The rhythm of reflective listening causes us to slow down, breathe, listen... and then validate. The heart of this communication tool is validating your partner. Even when you do not agree. Let me repeat... Even when you do not agree! It’s a common myth that to validate your partner means you concede to their point. Or agre

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