A Time to be Thankful

“There is more to hear in what is not said.” ― Joyce Rachelle *Big breath* I prepared myself to read the Salt Lake Tribune article "A Utah Substitute Told Fifth Graders that Homosexuality is Wrong." In response to the question, "What are you thankful for this year?” one boy’s response was nothing but precious. “I’m thankful that I’m finally going to be adopted by my two dads.” ...Utah County. Oh boy... The response from the teacher was exactly why I felt the need to prepare myself. A lecture to the class that homosexuality is wrong; including the unimaginably inappropriate direct response to the boy. "That is nothing to be thankful for." My heart sank. This is not about stance or bel

Normative Male Alexithymia

I wanted to follow up with the last few blogs on emotional intelligence and introduce a term coined over 20 years ago by Ron Levant. Normative Male Alexithymia is defined as “mildly (or sometimes more severely) emotionally shut down (and often depressed) men who struggle to identify their inner states” (Wexler, 2009). Earlier in my life when someone asked me how I felt about a difficult or stressful experience, it was difficult for me to find the right words to accurately describe what I was going through. When I needed to say something, I noticed the pressure made it even harder to find the right words. When I started my clinical training as a therapist, I noticed similar struggles from man

Flourishing Sexually after Orthodox Religious Upbringings

Through the process of working with the thousands of individuals and couples who have come to me for help with their sexuality, it has become clear to me that many of the people that reach out have a background from conservative religious backgrounds that affected their sexual development in rigid, misinformed and shaming ways. These people are dealing with intense, immense and internalized sexual shame sex-negative educational foundations inappropriate meaning ruts inappropriate self or partner blame and developmental stunting in their ability to enjoy the potential, joy and health that sex-positive relational sexuality has to offer As a result they are often sad, depressed and hopeless abo

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