6 Principles of Sexual Health or the Sex-Green Smoothie

It is difficult to get people to agree on the parameters of what we would define as "sexual health." Often it seems to go along the lines of whatever the person defining the concept is comfortable with themselves. This is even true in professional mental health circles where lots of dialogue and debate remain as to how we will classify the terms "dysfunction," "disorder" and in essence "deviant." In the process people often get labeled, diagnosed, treated, and mistreated in ways that carry more moral subjectivity than clinical soundness. I know this because I went 15 years as a well-trained mental health professional before I dove into the world of AASECT sex therapy certification where I ha

Engaging Men in Emotional Intelligence

My dad was what you might call a “typical male” father figure. He worked a ton, was rarely home and expressed feelings other than anger or frustration minimally (if at all)—a stereotype that unfortunately has loads of truth in our society. When I became an adult, we got “closer” and our relationship improved a bit. (How close can you get to a porcupine before you start saying, “Yeah! We’re close.”) The closeness we experience now has been incredibly transformative for our relationship. I am both grateful and frustrated and here is why… The closeness I experience now would have had a sustainable impact on me had it occurred in my childhood. Instead, I took on many of my dad’s emotional distan

Unspoken Grief - Let’s talk about it

Grief is a process we are all familiar with. We tend to associate grief with a major loss such as the death of a loved one or beloved pet. When we experience sadness or depression over other types of loss - loss of a job, a breakup, or fertility, for example, we may actually be experiencing the depression stage of the grief cycle. The grief cycle is commonly known by its acronym, DABDA. This cycle involves some major hitting emotions - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. While it is commonly referred to as a cycle, one can move forward, backward, stay stuck or start over. Grief can be a complicated process and there is no one right way to process it. It is important to unde

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