Understanding our Anger

Understanding our anger can help us accept and validate our emotions without being reactive to them in ways that are not in line with our goals and values. Choose a few of these questions or activities for journaling and/or meditation. What do you imagine will happen if you started feeling your angry feelings? How do people in your current family deal with anger, how did your mother, father, siblings deal with anger? What did you learn about anger from your culture? How have you dealt with angry feelings in the past? Do you see any patterns? How do they compare to those of your family and culture? If you don’t like to let yourself feel angry, but you have bubbling resentment or hidden anger

Challenging our Thinking Errors

I don’t find it helpful when people say, “stop feeling angry or sad”. Feelings don’t work like that. You can’t just stop feeling what you are feeling that easily. Feelings aren’t good or bad, they just are. I don’t find it helpful to add guilt to what I am already feeling. Our feelings are valid, there is a reason we are feeling them and we can learn from what we are feeling. Our thoughts and behaviors have an effect on our feelings. Our minds are always going and often we have negative self-talk or self-defeating beliefs. We can challenge our thoughts and beliefs and this can have a direct effect on our feelings. Cognitive distortions or thinking errors, are the different ways our mind con

Getting Past "I Don't Need Help" -- Because You Do

For some of us, asking for help is tough. We avoid it, put it off, or just plain make a policy that we'll never do it. There are lots of problems with these approaches. Mostly they make us into tiny human islands. Islands can be lovely, but tiny ones often get smaller as they're eroded by constant waves or deluged by big storms. So we humans need other humans to help us with little things, big things, and lots of things in between. If we refuse to ask for help or decline help every time it’s offered, we’re more likely to become worn down as our small needs go unmet and feel wiped out when big needs come around. If you're among the I-never-ask-for-help contingent (or a lesser version of it),

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