Being Certain about Uncertainty - Part 1

Do you ever wonder why it can feel so important to “know” something or to feel certain about something? Knowing what to expect when you go to your job, or being certain you can count on your best friend of 10 years to be the same person they were the last time you saw them can feel almost crucial to our existence; yet some of the bigger questions...like knowing what happens after we die and a plethora of other important life questions such as this, can leave us feeling quite uncertain. Knowing things makes us feel secure. It makes us feel right and it makes us feel good. Why do we feel so lost when we don’t know something, especially when it relates to the really big things in life...lik

From Pessimism to Optimism – A Healthy Shift (Part 1)

Unless you’re born with the happiness gene (yes, there’s a genetic factor to happiness), chances are you get cynical and pessimistic from time to time. Some of us might be plenty pessimistic a lot of the time or most of the time. If you’re in the latter category, should you be worried? In a word, yes. Pessimism compromises your emotional health, your physical health, and your spiritual health. That’s not just a theory. Dozens and dozens of studies show that these drawbacks are real. “But I’ve always been pessimistic,” you say. “I was born that way.” Well, maybe and maybe not. You might have been pessimistic for as long as you can remember, but in fact pessimism is at least partly learned and

Asking for our Needs to be Met

We all have needs. We all have needs of connection, to belong, and to be understood. We can take responsibility for getting our needs met. Here are some tips: 1. First we need to figure out what our needs are. 2. Letting our loved ones know what our needs and wants are, instead of thinking they somehow magically will know is really important. 3. Being willing to take a risk is important. Sometimes it is a scary thing to ask those we care about because they can say no. Yet if we aren’t willing to try, we may risk more. Our loved ones won’t have the chance to be there for us. 4. Asking and then being okay with our loved one saying "no" is also important. Sometimes people can meet us where we

Steps Towards Setting Healthier Boundaries

Establishing healthy boundaries with friends and loved ones can be challenging. We are often scared to set boundaries for fear of offending others, disappointing others, or challenging the level of connection we feel in those relationships through saying "no". However, NOT setting healthy boundaries that honor one's limits can lead to resentment, burn-out, avoidance, emotional fatigue, and strained relationships which in turn hurt the relationships we were trying originally to protect. Boundaries actually allow healthy relationships to thrive and invite both parties to show up as their best selves owning and honoring their individual needs and limitations. When setting healthy boundaries wit

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