How to Expose and Challenge the Lies Anxiety Tells Us - Part 2

To recap, anxiety lies... and it's up to you to expose how anxiety shows up in your mind and body and to challenge it! To practice challenging the lies anxiety tells you, consider the following steps: 1. Identify the Lie - Name the message or potential lie that your anxiety is telling you. Example: My anxiety is telling me that no one will like me, so I shouldn't even try to make friends. 2. Name Your Fear - Name your biggest fear about the anxiety-producing situation. Example: My biggest fear is that if I'm myself when I meet new people, no one will like me. 3. Interrogate your Anxiety - Put the messages your anxiety is telling you on trial. What's the evidence that your anxiety is telling

How to Expose and Challenge the Lies Anxiety Tells Us - Part 1

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Anxiety lies! Anxiety is a lying liar who lies! I'd yell it from the rooftop if I could. Anxiety is a master manipulator and it exaggerates the truth until it is blue in the face. Anxiety has a tendency to highlight our biggest fears and weaknesses without taking into account our strengths, capabilities, or our lived experiences of continually doing hard things. Anxiety shoves reality out the window and sets up camp in our mind and body while it begins preaching doom and gloom to our soul. Anxiety will remind us of the worst case scenarios but will never mention all the times it has been dead wrong. It always skips over all the lies it to

Who's Deserving of Hearing your Story?

Not everyone deserves to hear your story. Just because someone asks you something about yourself doesn’t mean you need to tell them. I have loved the work of Brene Brown in regards to vulnerability within the context of boundaries. I think this is really helpful because we all are faced with the task of setting boundaries. I want to always see the good in people. While that is a great trait of mine, I have learned that I matter and I get to protect myself too. Having healthy boundaries helps me stay safe. Yet there is a balance where I need to find my safe spaces and where I can just be me. These questions help me figure out what this will look like in my life: Who has earned the right to

Why Wanting to "Just be Happy" Makes Us Unhappy

It makes perfect sense why we say “I just want to be happy,” especially if our faith is changing and we realize the things we had been taught were “true” or “good” don’t really “make me happy”. When we are questioning everything we’d been told we should want, we need to learn to trust ourselves. And what better thing to trust than our own happiness? Problematically, research seems to indicate that setting happiness as a life-goal doesn’t actually result in much happiness. If you’ve ever been asked to *not* think about something (like a polar bear, or pornography) then you have experienced “ironic processing”, whereby deliberate attempts to not think about something actually bring those thing

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